just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
