I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
