I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
