But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
