i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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