it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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