if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
