Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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