we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
