I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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