chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
