She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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