My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
