I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
