woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
