The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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