your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
