brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
