Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
