Having a random hookup so left but love u
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I looked at my own cervix.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
