Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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