how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
