My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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