I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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