but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
