So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
