im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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