Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
