she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
