yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
