nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
