Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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