I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Come share oat with me in your robe
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
