I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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