that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
