When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
