If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
