no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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