btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
