haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
