my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
