So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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