Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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