you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
