btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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