How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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