??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
