My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Did you pee in the oven last night??
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
