some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
