Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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